September 19, 2019
Children thrive in consistency, so, understandably, they often struggle when their parents divorce. This significant life change can seem like more than they can handle. They may feel intense and new emotions that they struggle to translate into language. Trying to help them through this can prove challenging, but it can also give them the skills they need to cope with changes throughout life.
One of the most important things you can do during this transition is to let your children know that both parents will still be there for them. If possible, you and your ex can sit down to tell your kids about the divorce together. This shows them that you are committed to being a parenting team.
Present a unified front and don’t deliver unrealistic promises
The discussion can also help the children know exactly what to expect. Everyone is on the same page since they are getting the same information. Just make sure that what you agree to during the meeting can realistically occur.
Encourage your children to ask questions as they will probably have many but may be afraid to air some or even all of them, dreading the answers. They should also feel able to discuss their feelings with you. This should be done respectfully, which is something that you might have to help them with.
Your children will look to you to see how to responsibly and constructively cope with stressful changes. Try to remain calm when they are around. This models for them how to be able to do the same. For this reason, you should save discussions about contentious matters for times when you and your ex are alone instead of attempting to have them when the kids are around.
You also need to ensure that your parenting plan is in place as quickly as possible. It provides stability in a time when everything is changing.